Upheaval World Of Mine

Unstable

2008-10-23T06:54:00.002-08:00

Recently, i feel very insecure. Strange to hear from a guy 'Insecure" right? but thats the fact. I donno wat happen to me. Every small thing i also very concern abt her, then i will gt upset when she don listen to mi. i am not bossing around, jus pure concern.

Seriously no one know how i feel now, i got no one to talk to abt my feeling. I am feeling terrible. I feeling real lousy. I don think she noe how i feel too, cos i always try my best to make her happy n keep thing in my heart.

I really love her alot.
I reall treasure her alot..
I really can't live without her...
But now....

I really feel Insecure, Terrible & Lousy......

Sorry

2008-06-15T07:07:00.002-08:00

I am not ignoring you or don't wanna talk to u.

I just feel quite unhappy that i cant meet you for a week.

You are busy with your thing and i can understand.

Just ignore me next time. sorry.

Wondering

2008-05-26T07:11:00.002-08:00

I am feeling weird now.
I can't explain my feeling.
Am i too kapo?
Why must i control her?
Is that out of concern or being possessive?
I think i just hack care let her do whatever she want.
Maybe thats the best way, jus maybe..........

promise???

2008-05-07T07:07:00.002-08:00

Promise are meant to be broken....
This is a fact...
Rememeber, Never promise people anything which you can't deliver...
Cause you may cause him/her to hurt alot...
Well, after what i experience, yes it really hurt alot...
Even thought i never tell anyone about it...
But a scar had formed and i will never ever trust a promise again...

What should i do

2008-05-04T06:06:00.002-08:00

This few days i have been thinking alot. I don like my gf to go club. I just hate it. I feel very discomfort whenever she go. I thought most bf wont like their gf go. i am AGAINST it, but the problem is, i really love her alot till i am willing to let her go cos all i wan is her to be happy. As long as she happy can le. I don mind to worry and be unhappy as long as she enjoy and be happy. I know she will behave so i not worry about it just that i think my mind is super traditional, i super cannot take it. I am adopting to this now, cos i jus wan her to be happy. She told me she will never go again, but that day when her friend birthday then she call her go she also go. Even though she ask mi but wat u expect mi to ans back, i jus call her to decide cos i jus cant decide. But truthfully, i am not happy at all. Next time her friend ask her go club again what should i do? I seriously donno what to do, I think what should i do is to just tel her to go and spend another sleepless night. Being with her, she only went twice and i spend 2 sleepless night. Seriously, love is a funny thing. A girl i have been spending my life with for 2 mth can affect mi so much, i guess she is the one for mi. Or should i say, she is definately the one for me.
SO next time, if she wanna go, i should jus gladly accept it. One more sleepless night is nothing. :)

Cure mi

2008-04-23T06:19:00.002-08:00

Now i am trying my very best to get use to date my gf. kind of odd saying something like that but i am super not use to it. I don't even know what should i do now. She always think that she also got date mi, but she just donno that i date her much more, n i really cant do tt anymore, getting very unbalance. And i keep telling myself if one day i don date her, will she ever meet mi when i nev push her to date mi?? Maybe we may not see each other for 2 weeks just for this stupid reason. This is getting out of hand, i muz put this to a stop. But i seriously donno wat to do even we have talk this out. I know this is a stupid post but seriously if anyone is in my shoes, they will noe why. Maybe, just maybe, The temptation of meeting mi is not there yet, I mean, maybe without mi meeting her, day just passes by as usual. I am just a bonus if she meet me. I am not saying there she is feelin this way but this is how i feel now, cause the temptation to just have a glance at her for a moment satisfact mi. I am just purely silly saying all this now, cos i noe i cant gt her off my mind for a single min.

She, in less then 2 month, make me fall in love so much.
And she is Roxanne.

靠近

2008-03-20T07:44:00.002-08:00

每当我想靠近,你总会装冷静

眼看你的表情,仿佛已经说明

我只想要证明,我们这段爱情

也许在你眼里,它只是个游戏

我只想要靠近,也很想要抱紧

会想到那过去,和现在新的你

我还想要参与,你的生活点滴

只要你肯相信,我一定会陪你走下去

只要你再相信

我们会轻轻地靠在一起

The love story that never end

2008-03-14T07:34:00.002-08:00

I'll be loving you forever
Deep inside my heart you'll leave me never
Even if you took my heart
And tore it apart
I would love you still, forever

You are the sun
You are my light
And you're the last thing on my mind
Before I go to sleep at night
You're always round
When I'm in need
When trouble's on my mind
You put my soul at ease
There is no one in this world
Who can love me like you do
That is the reason that I,
Wanna spend forever with you

Just me

2008-03-01T22:35:00.002-09:00

How many time do i need to tell you how much i love you?
How many time do i have to tell you that i will never regret?
How many time do i have to tell you that you are the only one that i have love so much?
How many time do i need to show you that i treasure you alot?
Just tell me frankly, when can you accept me?
If you do accept me, Why do you still ask those questions?

Just spend a sleepless night worrying about you,
Never been so worry before,
Don't even know what am i worrying about,
Just had a bad feeling that something is not right and that causes me to be sleepless.
Prying out answer from you is getting me real upset.
I just cannot wait.
Can i get an answer soon???

Very lousy and messy and complicated Post.
I knew it.
Cause this is how i am feeling now.............

INSANE

2008-02-06T11:51:00.000-09:00

Yes i love you.

Do you love me?

SIAN

2008-01-22T08:00:00.000-09:00

Wanted to say something sweet to her...

She keep thinking i am joking with her and didn't took it serious...

Super sian la, Need so much courage to tell her that and she just say"LOL, HAHA"

:(

I think i shouldn't be too playful and joke around with her le...

If not to her i will never be serious and she don't take what i say seriously...

Stupid me...

I need answer...

2008-01-11T03:19:00.000-09:00

Rapture at the sight of her.
>I didn't get the chance to see her.

Obsessive about her day and night.
>Do she feel the same way as i feel.

Xylophone sound out the feeling in my heart.
>I guess she can't hear it.

Antidote to cure my sickness.
>She is the only antidote.

Niggling where do i stand in your heart.
>Or do i even exist in your heart.

Naive i may be but i will wait for you.
>One day you will accept me.

Extricate from this won't help.
>Let us face this together.

Confused

2008-01-07T05:01:00.000-09:00

Suddenly feel super odd, this days thing just dont go my way. i cant get anything i want. If i have a choice, i hope i know you much earlier or i completely dont know you. i am really feeling quite down recently. I guess what i got to do is really stop contacting you, see what will happen. maybe i dont have the feeling for you by then, maybe you do not need to be confuse at all. maybe just maybe, i can live the life i want for once. I am giving myself one year. Within this year, if the wish i had didn't fufil, i guess this will change my life forever. I may still be young and immature, but i clearly know what kind of life i want. All this is junk seriously, bullshit. How can i live in such a f*** up life. Seriously, i don't feel bad or sad, simply frustration.

F*** UP LIFE!!!

U R????

2008-01-01T05:09:00.000-09:00

Immature love says "I love you because I need you." Mature love says "I need you because I love you."

When u sit with a nice gal for 2 hrs,u think it's only a min. But when u sit on a hot stove for a minute, u think it's 2 hrs.

Some gifts are big, others are small. Gifts from the heart are the best gifts of all.

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage.

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LOVE QUOTES!!!!

I think tts the final ans

2007-11-25T05:51:00.000-09:00

I think my decision is final... i am not gonna think abt her, stop liking her, forget abt her... tts the only solution... I will jus live my normal life again and let fate decide my love life... I jus cant seen to get one at the moment... If i am interested in someone, she is either attach or have something which i cant accept... GOD muz be playing prank on mi now...

I think the way i present myself, girls startin to gt far away from mi liao.. haha... really need to look after my look le... :)

I am back

2007-07-24T07:06:00.000-08:00

1 month nev update my blog le... those who read it muz be missing mi rite... i am back for u all... this one month so many things have happen in my life... the good and the bad... lets not talk abt those bad stuff happening to mi... :) This month i have done so many charity work till the extent tt i feel like i am turnin over a new leaf and becoming a better person... i swear to god i have nev spend a month like tt in my life... some of them may be tiring but after the whole thing you eally feel very happy... now i feel i am like jesus helpin ppl out with no return of anything... I was stil thinking if i didn decide to join mentoring wil so much thing happen in my life in such a short period.. but the odd thing is i have spend more time doing other stuff rather then montoring activities which is rather odd... seriously... everytime i come here i try to write something nice and appealling to ppl who read my blog but i find my life quite boring la... always the same few things... don noe why ppl will read my blog when even myself find it quite boring sometime... Maybe some day i should do some sky-diving or wat so i can say it here which i think is more interesting..

alright, signing off now...

jus some pic to brighten up this blog...

He say he is shy... All the pic he took will be covering his whole face other then his eye!!!

Now trying to act fierce, Again he cover his face!!!

Come On!!!

2007-06-30T06:51:00.000-08:00

Finally i find time to write here. this week has been up and down for me. Don noe whether should i be happy with my result or not. Comparing to last yr. it is counted as drop le. jia lat la. but luckily i stil manage to pass al of them. i wanna gt al A n B le. not C or even D. Muz really study hard for this term.

Life is getting boring. No spark at al. Nothing interesting. Suddenly got a feelin of going to do thing i really like. I always have a Qn in my head. Should i go join a soccer club? thinkin back on the past, it was really silly of me to stop going to the club trainin. i should be more persistance and continue training. but i give up as i wanted to commit more on studies. STUPID of mi la. now regret le. Don think i gt the chance to go back ba. hmmm.

We all should treasure wat we have before it is gone

Cos it may nev be recover.....

Feelin so relax now...

2007-06-11T09:39:00.000-08:00

Work Work Work... tts going to fill my whole holiday... but i nev regret workin as a promoter... it may be very tiring but the joy n self-satisfaction will nev end... ppl always thought my job will be easy... jus promoting the goods lo... but the place i working in is Best Denki and under a brand call braun... u r always challenging n fighting for sales week in week out... mornin to nite... always quarrel fr stupid thing like this is whose customer or u cut my sales or wat bull shit... end of the day u r the one tt suffer... ur company doesn.. so no point fighting de la... jus don understand...

my job is keep askin customer" can i help???" it may be frustrating for u = customer but we r jus earnin a living... so pls understand... its not fun at al standin for hours but the joy for sellin item n winnin other company is always there... tts the fun part of the job... always challenging... but end of the day, qu wil be too tired to think of the joy on sales floor... cos the next day is a new challenge awaiting u... n u gotta prepare for tt again...

stress? a little but not harmful n wil push u further...

tired? u wil always be tired but the joy n self-satisfaction is always there...

money? tts why i work there... :)

pls... some worthy challenger in sales floor... there is no kick now!..

Finally, Its over!!!

2007-06-09T08:33:00.000-08:00

The common test is finally over le... i think i wil not do well at al sia... jialat... this yr too slack... getting bad result for sure... haiz... wat to do...blame myself lo...

today went to work after so long la... like 2 mths like tt... was very happy to work again... miss al my colleague la... miss the challenging feeling there... keep on chiong sales... song... but around 6 plus i tired le la... too long nev work... hehe... stil it was a fun day... at least i do my job... i gonna spend the next 2 weeks at taka workin le... my target everyday do 1.5k sales... make sure i earn 1k within tt week...

tired tired le... gonna slp now...

KT sign off....

Car Wash!!!

2007-05-26T05:47:00.000-08:00

Finally free to write here again... Bus with sch work and project ah... gettin more n more tiring as common test is comin up... thurs went to do my project<>. we started at 6pm til 9 plus, onli manage to wash 5 cars. not good lo... at this rate we are going we wont be earning much.. but at least just washing for the first attempt we get profit already... haha... starting was quite fun but from the second car onward it is serious work le... i am quite fortunate tt al mygroup member really work hard to try to do a good job in our project... the commitment is there la... some of my friend do not have this group member and are scratching their head now... GOOD JOB GUYS!!! thurs also take the stupid programmin test and i think i will fail la... haiz... this is the problem when u don study in the first 5 weeks of school... now struggling like siao... muz keep studying n keep doin the assignment given to mi if not no time le...... HOW??

yesterday one of my friend ask mi why i blog... she say it is unusual for guy to do tt... i was speechless... i told her i don noe... then say maybe this is the onli place u can speck out ur mind peacefully ba...

today more jia lat for mi la... sore-throat and fever... kep sleepin n sleepin so onli manage to finish math onli... waste whole day on bed... argh... later go study a bit more then slp... so wont feel guilty...

Those who see my blog better drink more water hoh... weather damn bad... everyday at home like suana like tt.. even at nite... so stuffy.... don gt sick like mi... go drink water now... log off n drink water le:)

Another day hav pass...

2007-05-18T06:59:00.000-08:00

When to the montoring interaction and surely i hav make more friend today... i think i am gay... keep makin friends with the guy... hmmm. next meeting onward go noe some gals le... hehehe... anyway... the meeting is quite fun and at least i find tt actually mentoring is not tt dead as wat i first thought... everyone was quite cheerul n out-going... the game was quite fun but a litle lame la... next time i think i organise better... haha... this yr mentoring got a addition of 6 guy compare to 1 last yr... mi, brandon, xiong, leo, toni and xiao ming... i muz say if we go to the same sch n teach de hua comfirm very fun...

{ Love is a troublesome thing }

{ N i choose to love }

{ Cos i met u }

{ Bunch of idiots :) }

{ Bunch of idiots 2}

{ Racial harmony day }

{ Adrian, mi and rudy }

Tired day

2007-05-14T05:49:00.000-08:00

Today class start at 8am to 5pm... then after tt soccer... wa seh... first time score a goal so fast... less then 1 min of kick off... haha.. not a bad goal too... then after tt score one more goal and the problem start to roll... tackle is like flying towards mi non-stop... in the end...got injured on my knee so badly tt now i am limping... wa seh... tml wake up wil cry man... hope next time no more this kid of tackle on mi le... suffer sia... but overall a fun game... chase like a dog... play hard and get praise... hehe... try to fit in the team better but i think age gap make it too difficult... tryiny my best le... why my team don understand... :(

Am i good enough

2007-05-12T07:08:00.000-08:00

Such a long day for mi.. Mornin went to my first mentor session and met the children... my feelin should be excited and happy... But my first thought when i saw the first child is like " WTH... the next 2 hr wil be a torture..." the kid is like keep on beating mi and kick mi... nearly lose my cool... but i remind myself they r jus kid... but after awhile... actually not tt bad... jus tt he should control himself n give more respect to montor... but he is jus treatin us like friends.. tts the reason why... is fun to noe some of the kids and other member.. i think i should start controlling my language le... scold the F*** word in front of them because of a game... argh... bad example... But seriously i nev thought i wil enjoy this and feel so happy after tt... jus love this mentoring thing which i don even noe why i join in the first place... hopefully i can tutor them soon.. not jus in studies but also livin of life... this muz be the most fufilling thing i hav ever done in my life...

Went to work after tt... told my full-time i mentor children but i was like being laugh til siao... hmmm, i don look like one la i noe... but give mi face ma... haiz... but today work also relax... nothing much and also quite enjoy... god... whole day do those stuff but haven revise my work n hw... die liao.... now muz chiong lo

:)

Boring, Boring Day

2007-05-10T05:32:00.000-08:00

Late, Late, Late!!! Always late for classes... Cant i be there early for once... today lesson was damn bored... always the same... but at least i manage to stay awake this time round... :) Went to gym orentation today n see the most high tech gym in asia... muz go there more often le... train my upper body so look nicer.. hehe... Girls are al around us... but getting one to be yours is difficult.. at least gettin one suitable for u... Really getting more n more lonely le... No Gf = No Love = No Life... tts the fact and no one can deny it... Now gonna do more work to occupie my space time....

End of the world

2007-05-09T06:17:00.000-08:00

First time posting here... I always think it is stupid of ppl posting blog, it is not fun at al. but now i noe why. This is the onli place for u to express ur feeling out and allowing ppl to noe it without speckin much. This couple of days i have been feelin down. Jus cant seem to settle down for my studies. Wat should i do??? Hope the upcoming prgrammin i am havin in the weekend will help out. those who noe mi wil find it odd but i am mentoring for the pri sch kid for free!!! how could this happen to a guy who always scold vulger language and play soccer like mad mentor ppl??? HaHa... Heaven knows man... maybe i am a changed guy.... maybe..............